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1) Martin had heard that the best way to calm a hillbilly threatening to pull off your face was to do an impression of a famous Botticelli painting, now if only he could find a big shell to stand in (luckily he had already found a pair of tits)
2) The pair of gents were dubious about the simpletons claim of tasty invisible apples
3) But Sirrah! This unfortunate vagabond is truely holy. Can you not see that he is with child?
The worthy runners up were...
hey doc, you got anything for wankers cramp?
MMmmm you like? Go on, smell these! Smell my colonial cahoneys!
It was more buffalo than beaver, I'd say. BoC
To the gentlemen's relief the idiot knocked sensless by a well aimed squirel in the back of the head.
Once you have it by the b*lls you have it's attention Ymladd
I hear that you are a good hairdresser. And lord know I need one. Ymladd
But iff'n yer fixes ma teef, however will ah open mah bottles? - Jack Rackem
"Oh how my heart yearns for him, if only I could get rid of this capering fool then we could run hand in hand to the woods and make sweet piratey music together!" Mistress FC
A Hat venn diagram - Feathery hat crossed with furry hat equals, er, a thing.
I say old chap, the earl grey tastes sooo much better. wee_mad_jock
Remember that caption contests, like monkeys, are their own reward!
For those desperate for a new competition, try this.
Spot the difference
How many differences can you see in these pictures?