Burnt is Clean :: Length or girth?

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Length or girth? (Views 871)
Posted by Jon Johnson 7 Aug 2007, 06:38

Dear wise spanyards

I am off on an adventure this weekend and my missus wants me to leave her a piece for her pleasure and protection.

With so many different pieces on the market today I just don't know if the ladies prefer length or girth. Do they like the bell like end of a blunderbuss? I just do not know.

I really want something that with please her deep down and hit all the right spots.

Please could you apply some of your spanish wisdom on to this matter as an urgency.

Thank you
J. J.

Posted by Cheech Mariner 8 Aug 2007, 08:41

Cheech Mariner

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Joined: 27 Jun 2007
Last Post: 9 Oct 2007
Last Online: 9 Oct 2007

Gone for a smoke, hombre

Thees ees tricky pregunta, hombre. Ees like to ask when thee commodo silla ees arriving, no?

But, ees true I ave expreience een thees matter from running around thee back of thee esteemed customs men.. pfffft. An eet ees true that they don't likee eet up them. Thee pommel that ees.

But weeth thee senoiritas. Hombre, you ees asking thee wrong pregunta, si? They ees liking both thee length an thee girth. Largo y de par en par, he he. An usually weeth large fire een the belly, no.

Tommy Chong's mama, por ejemplo, she ees fine senioriata an shee like bells and busses, both at once, si. Een thees matter, eet is always best to have two pieces for your seniorita. I would be honoured to ave thee privelege of lending thee extra piece eef eet ees true you have only thee one short one.

Posted by Thomas DeChong 8 Aug 2007, 17:00

Thomas DeChong

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Am I sailing ok? - Hombre, I think we're moored.

Ees slander an' lies about my Mama! My Mama no like the roasteeng!

But to your parteecular problemo compadre - I find ees good idea to breeng 3, no 2, pieces to pleasure the senorita!

She like the one that ees beeeg and broad (like Cheech's mama), she like the leetle theen one that get een all the leetle har to reach places, and then she like the 'Spanish Teeckler'!

What ees 'Spaneesh Teeckler' I hear you say?

Ees ingenious eenvention of great friend Dong Juang Casanova.

You take the horn of the bull an' you carve eet like the pene of the bull eetself. Next you get the handfull of the cicada (or grasshopper to you Eengleesh types) and put them een the horn. Then you get the large stopper and plug the open end of the horn, trappeeng the enraged cicada inside.

Insert the horn as required and hold the lit candle beneath the horn until the cicada go loco. Enjoy!

Edited by Thomas DeChong 8 Aug 2007 • Reason:

Posted by Cheech Mariner 8 Aug 2007, 18:38

Cheech Mariner

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The Dogs

Posts: 95

Joined: 27 Jun 2007
Last Post: 9 Oct 2007
Last Online: 9 Oct 2007

Gone for a smoke, hombre

But ee ees talkin about guns, amigo. You ave to bring the senioritas into eet, an I was only saying your mama likes both the wide end an the bulbous firing end both thee same.

Posted by Thomas DeChong 9 Aug 2007, 08:26

Thomas DeChong

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The Dogs

Posts: 140

Joined: 27 Jun 2007
Last Post: 14 Oct 2007
Last Online: 14 Oct 2007

Am I sailing ok? - Hombre, I think we're moored.

Amigo - once you take the end off of the Spanish Teeckler eet ees like fireeng the blunderbus! The face full of loco cicada ees no laughing matter eh?

Protection an' pleasure as the gentleman request.

Edited by Thomas DeChong 9 Aug 2007 • Reason:

Posted by Jon 15 Aug 2007, 06:03

Thanks

Posted by Thomas DeChong 15 Aug 2007, 18:31

Thomas DeChong

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The Dogs

Posts: 140

Joined: 27 Jun 2007
Last Post: 14 Oct 2007
Last Online: 14 Oct 2007

Am I sailing ok? - Hombre, I think we're moored.

I trust it was a helpful response old chap? (trying hard to give the 'e' key a rest after the adventure!)

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	Thu 18 Apr 2024, 01:31 GMT Burnt is Clean
	Good morning surfer
			Page 1
	»Index »Ask a crazy hombre		« Newer Topic \| Older Topic »
	Length or girth? (Views 871) Posted by Jon Johnson 7 Aug 2007, 06:38
	Dear wise spanyards I am off on an adventure this weekend and my missus wants me to leave her a piece for her pleasure and protection. With so many different pieces on the market today I just don't know if the ladies prefer length or girth. Do they like the bell like end of a blunderbuss? I just do not know. I really want something that with please her deep down and hit all the right spots. Please could you apply some of your spanish wisdom on to this matter as an urgency. Thank you J. J.
	Posted by Cheech Mariner 8 Aug 2007, 08:41
	Cheech Mariner Offline The Dogs Posts: 95 Joined: 27 Jun 2007 Last Post: 9 Oct 2007 Last Online: 9 Oct 2007 Gone for a smoke, hombre
	Thees ees tricky pregunta, hombre. Ees like to ask when thee commodo silla ees arriving, no? But, ees true I ave expreience een thees matter from running around thee back of thee esteemed customs men.. pfffft. An eet ees true that they don't likee eet up them. Thee pommel that ees. But weeth thee senoiritas. Hombre, you ees asking thee wrong pregunta, si? They ees liking both thee length an thee girth. Largo y de par en par, he he. An usually weeth large fire een the belly, no. Tommy Chong's mama, por ejemplo, she ees fine senioriata an shee like bells and busses, both at once, si. Een thees matter, eet is always best to have two pieces for your seniorita. I would be honoured to ave thee privelege of lending thee extra piece eef eet ees true you have only thee one short one.
	Posted by Thomas DeChong 8 Aug 2007, 17:00
	Thomas DeChong Offline The Dogs Posts: 140 Joined: 27 Jun 2007 Last Post: 14 Oct 2007 Last Online: 14 Oct 2007 Am I sailing ok? - Hombre, I think we're moored.
	Ees slander an' lies about my Mama! My Mama no like the roasteeng! But to your parteecular problemo compadre - I find ees good idea to breeng 3, no 2, pieces to pleasure the senorita! She like the one that ees beeeg and broad (like Cheech's mama), she like the leetle theen one that get een all the leetle har to reach places, and then she like the 'Spanish Teeckler'! What ees 'Spaneesh Teeckler' I hear you say? Ees ingenious eenvention of great friend Dong Juang Casanova. You take the horn of the bull an' you carve eet like the pene of the bull eetself. Next you get the handfull of the cicada (or grasshopper to you Eengleesh types) and put them een the horn. Then you get the large stopper and plug the open end of the horn, trappeeng the enraged cicada inside. Insert the horn as required and hold the lit candle beneath the horn until the cicada go loco. Enjoy! Edited by Thomas DeChong 8 Aug 2007 • Reason:
	Posted by Cheech Mariner 8 Aug 2007, 18:38
	Cheech Mariner Offline The Dogs Posts: 95 Joined: 27 Jun 2007 Last Post: 9 Oct 2007 Last Online: 9 Oct 2007 Gone for a smoke, hombre
	But ee ees talkin about guns, amigo. You ave to bring the senioritas into eet, an I was only saying your mama likes both the wide end an the bulbous firing end both thee same.
	Posted by Thomas DeChong 9 Aug 2007, 08:26
	Thomas DeChong Offline The Dogs Posts: 140 Joined: 27 Jun 2007 Last Post: 14 Oct 2007 Last Online: 14 Oct 2007 Am I sailing ok? - Hombre, I think we're moored.
	Amigo - once you take the end off of the Spanish Teeckler eet ees like fireeng the blunderbus! The face full of loco cicada ees no laughing matter eh? Protection an' pleasure as the gentleman request. Edited by Thomas DeChong 9 Aug 2007 • Reason:
	Posted by Jon 15 Aug 2007, 06:03
	Thanks
	Posted by Thomas DeChong 15 Aug 2007, 18:31
	Thomas DeChong Offline The Dogs Posts: 140 Joined: 27 Jun 2007 Last Post: 14 Oct 2007 Last Online: 14 Oct 2007 Am I sailing ok? - Hombre, I think we're moored.
	I trust it was a helpful response old chap? (trying hard to give the 'e' key a rest after the adventure!)
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