You weird monkey botherer.  The monkey takes the hit and in the tremendous pain of the situation it bites you.  His monkey fluids mingle with yours and quickly feel the desire for bananas.  Your arms become covered in hair and so does the rest of your body.  It seems that by some bizarre twist of ironic fate you have caught monkeyitus and are now being transformed into a monkey.

The remaining bandit comes over and says

‘Lookee here, I seem to have got me a new monkey bit ch.  I hope you squeal like my last one and that you have a bit more stamina than the last one which broke from all the proddin’

He drops his trousers.

I think its probably best to end the adventure here.