‘Hussar! You appear to have hit my lucky monkey!’

Yes right, because you have a lucky monkey don’t you?  A real live monkey that also happens to be lucky.  Sorry but sometimes a line has to be drawn and due to my personal feelings on the use of primates in piratical situations I do not feel that the use of monkey in this lethal (for the monkey)  situation is appropriate as there could be children watching.  Are you really saying you want a poor defenceless monkey to take a bullet for you? 

Yes

No, I meant to say you hit my lucky mum key as in the key of my mother, you must have simply misheard, I love monkeys me, wouldn’t harm a hair on their simian simpleton heads