‘You’re making it up as you go along’ you say.

He deflates slightly, waving his sword in a grandiose and dauntless way.

‘No its true, it really is, why else would I be just waiting here for you to turn up?  You don’t think I have better things to do?  You think I would rather be here, in this weather, getting bored, than doing something more productive?  Come on, have at you who look life the north end of a south facing pig!’

Do you

Wave your sword in a dull and dirty way and prepare to fight him

Say ‘Whatever’ and shoot him